What the waddle?

I'm waddling. I am outgrowing my maternity pants, though that shouldn't theoretically be possible since they are generally elasticized. No shirts I own are long enough. I honestly feel like I am going to pee my pants at all times when standing. I can see my ass getting wider each morning while I dry my hair. I don't have the energy to do my hair on weekends, even when expecting company. I am unreasonably out of breath after climbing the 5 flights of stairs to my office (but I will do it to the bitter end if it kills me). Feet under my ribs are making sitting for more than 5 minutes exceedingly unpleasant. Wild kicking fits after getting up at 1:30 and 4:00 am to pee are keeping me awake, as if I am not tired enough on my own without being kept up for an hour or more each night. My husband keeps telling me daily how tired he is and that his back is so sore. He keeps on sending Mayson to my side of the car to get put into her carseat, I guess I am the more able bodied one to be hoisting her into the truck/car. I am sure I am officially bigger now than I was when 10 days overdue last pregnancy.

My feet aren't swollen. I don't really have heartburn.