Nature or Nurture

My kids make me crazy. For so many reasons - because I love them SO much, because they are so full of energy, but lately because of this ever-prevalent question I get every night and mostly every morning, "Mommy, what are we doing tomorrow?" My anxiety and irritation start to rise, I want to snap, "NOTHING, AGGHHHH!" Seriously what 3 year old and 5 year old need to know this kind of advance planning? This is just the beginning.of my issue. It's not just that these kids are under the impression that they need to have an hourly social agenda to fill up each day, when we don't "Do anything" they can't pay attention to any single activity for more than 5-7 minutes. So I have been struggling with all of this, while knowing full well I have created my own monster(s), quite literally.
I am trying to raise my kids with a passion for life. My hubby and I both love to get out and grab all the opportunities life has to offer. We take our kids out to all kinds of events and activities as a family - community events always, festivals, city attractions, recreation center activities, outdoor sports, parks, etc, etc, etc. We are a very busy active family. We are not ones to put our kids in tonnes of registered programs, preferring instead to do things together as a family for the most part. So, most days when we are not working we are doing something, we are busy. Thus the dreaded question arises. I guess it shouldn't annoy me but it does. Kids should be able to comprehend that some days will be spent at home but when I tell them that we are not planning to go anywhere the next day, they go into an anxiety attack. But who will we see, is someone coming over, I want to go somewhere...Ugh! So I take full responsibility for this situation but I am struggling to figure out how to fix it . Stay home once in awhile...or often. Which brings me to my next problem.
When we do stay home, my girls, especially my oldest (and I do beleive there is some connection there) cannot focus on one thing for more than 5-7 minutes maximum, usually more like 2-3. The oldest, I actually fear may have ADD. Again, I look to myself. Is this my fault, a result of my attempt to instill in them a lust for life? Or is this their personality? Worse yet for me to consider is it a genetic trait? I am always busy doing million things around the house - laundry, baking, cooking, crafting, cleaning, keeping the kids busy, computing...Is it my constant multi-tasking the thing that destroys their attention span. Are they emulating me but multitasking is just not something their little brains can comprehend so they end up acting like squirrels on crack. Or is it because my attention is always split from them, half doing something with them half something else? How do I teach them to just be? Probably the fact that I think I need to teach them that means I am still not getting it. I think, I shouldn't have to teach them, I just need to let them be. Just let them be. I think kids are suffering from over parenting. We think for our kids to play we need to have playdates. When I was little there was no such word. My moms friends would drop by for coffee, whenever. No one had cell phones to construct these orchestrated outings with multiple families. My aunt would drop by with my cousins, maybe we were home, most likely we would be because where else would we be. I guess I am a fan of the old fashioned family way, it seems like the right thing to me, feels right. We don't give kids time to just be and so they can't pay attention when given time to freely play. They don't know how to just be. They panic, they come running to mommy asking if they can do this organized activity, or go here, or have me orchestrate something for them. I believe they need time to just process things, play in order to make sense of all the stimulation being thrown at them all day long. Time to rest their heads and let it all soak in. It's almost like now they need someone or something to stimulate their brains all the time or they go into what I call frizzle mode where their brains are just jittering, frizzling as an after effect of all the stimulation.
At the same time, I think I need to be more focused. I just spent the last 2 days in high annoyance at my oldest, scolding her about being able to focus on the task at hand. Meanwhile my brain is in a million places, thinking o f all the Christmas preparations I need to do in the next two weeks. Well we know we are our kids biggest role models when it comes to speech and attitude etc. Obviously attention is no different. I think I need to lecture my self. PAY ATTENTION! The thing is I believe we need to pay attention, spend time with our kids doing meaningful, influential activities. And then we need to let them marinate. Let them be. Instead of getting them going on a craft then trying to cook supper, sit down and really focus on the activity with them and then send them off to play (gasp! with no play date!) while I cook. Attention, marinate. This is my new mantra. Give them QUALITY attention but it DOESN'T need to be ALL then time. Let them go about their very important kid business of all those things kids need to do. Parents, play with your kids, but also LET THEM PLAY. Often. Daily. I going to try it, we'll see how it goes. By the way, as I am typing this on my iPad I am watching TV, have a magazine open, and am checking my iPhone facebook.. But really it's them who have the attention problem. But then again maybe they are just 3 and 5.